some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
