thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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