You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
