D3 body, D1 cock
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
