u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
