Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
