I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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