C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
