your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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