he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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