I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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