Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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