im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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