He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
