I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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