it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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