More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
