I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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