My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
