just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
