What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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