Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
