So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I stole a fireplace last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
