me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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