Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
