perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
