saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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