Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
