its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
