Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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