I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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