You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize