Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
