i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
