apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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