Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
