I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
