So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
