He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
