It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
