He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Are my feet made of real feet?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
