Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
