we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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