Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
