9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
