she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
