Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
