piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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