He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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