Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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