My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
