eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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