god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
