she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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