did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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